Zeke
Full Member
Posts: 405
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Post by Zeke on Jan 9, 2007 19:10:30 GMT -5
Hahaha, towards the end, it acts as though it were on fire. Nice find. Plus 1.
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Post by El Phantasamo on Jan 9, 2007 20:18:34 GMT -5
Hahaha, towards the end, it acts as though it were on fire. Nice find. Plus 1. Kinda disturbing really. Does anyone remember "The Barbie Slasher"? Brandi saw it and said "what? Why would yo do that? there $40 and you cant get them ANYWHERE!" I guess you see that stuff differently when you have kids (or Nieces)  |
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piratevalkyrie
Full Member
El's Personal Sniper
The lowest REAL unspammed karma on the boards...
Posts: 500
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Post by piratevalkyrie on Jan 9, 2007 21:43:31 GMT -5
The definitive set of Man Laws courtesy of the facebook group, Man Law Nation:
Man Laws:
1. Man Law Is NEVER Wrong...If An Argument Is Present We Agree To Disagee.
2. A man shall not wear the colors of a championship team unless there is documented proof on file that named man wore such colors before the start of the season.
3. It is only acceptable to complain of a sports injury if it will get you pity sex within one hour
4. You NEVER discuss with your girlfriend what goes on on guys night out.
5. It is acceptable to settle important decisions by using Rock, Paper, Scissors.
6.The woman should never drive the man's car, unless he is busy puking out the window.
7. When a friend moves in with his girlfriend, he loses his man card until said relationship is over.
8. Thou shall not make plans with the guys and then cancel for a chick...unless chick is really hot and has hot friends which would then benefit everyone.
9. Anything said and done in the company of male friends, is kept there and never shared with curious females.
10. If a buddy gets stuck talking to the fat chick at a party, under no circumstances are you allowed to leave his side.
11. If a man has relations with a chick who is "not up to par" said man can call "mulligan" and the incident shall never to be spoken of again. (only one mulligan per year)
12. The man who approaches a table full of women gets first dibs.
13. A man should never be told to put the toilet seat down, furthermore the toilet seat should be lifted after a female is done.
14. If a man's friend calls at 3 am needing a ride, you pick him up.
15. Man will not go to a chick flick with his girl friend or a girl unless he is guaranteed play during or after the movie. Woman must also pay for man's time.
16. If a single man is hosting a party single woman should always out number single men 2 to 1. There should be no couples
17. No Man May Change A T-Shirt Because "This One Is Wrinkled" Instead Wear It Or Iron It While It Is Still On You.
18. A Man May Not Own A Pleasure Device, Even If The Man Can Not Do The Job On His Own Or It Has Been Two Weeks Without A Woman. Especially If The Device Is Made Of Silly Putty.
19. If Ever Another Man Finds Another Man Breaking A Man Law, Said Man Is Subject To Being Hit In The Head With A Phonebook.
20. No Man Shall Let A "Female Friend" Move In With Him During Her Breakup With Another Man While She "Looks For Her Own Place"
21. Men May Not Wear Tight Pants Or Capri Pants. Exceptions Include Football Or Any Other Sport Deemed Manly.
22. Real Men Do Not Love Sex, Real Men Enjoy Sex. Love And Sex Are Two Diffrent Things.
23. A Man Can Not Carry A Little Dog In Public, Especially In A Bag.
24. No Man Shall Subject His Pet To The Humiliation Of Wearing Any Clothing Including Hats Or Sunglasses. Extreme Penalties Result In Such.
25. Mans Dog Is Part Of Mans Family Therefore Dog Is Allowed To Sleep On Bed. Good Call.
26. It Is Completely Acceptable For Man To Use A Dog To Lure A Woman.
27. No Man Shall Say The Word "Cuddle" Unless It Is To Score A PERFECT 10 Girl.
28. Man Will Not Take Woman's Last Name In Marriage.
29. If Talking To Your Girlfriend Or Wife On The Phone You Are Not Permitted To Use A "Pet Name" In Presence Of Another Man.
30. A Man's Friend Shall Not Let A Man Go Back To A Woman Who Left Him At The Alter...Unless She Is REALLY Hot.
31. During Football. The Time For Woman Is During Every OTHER Commercial Break.
32. Man Shall Not Date Another Friend's Ex, Once Said Relationship Is Over She Is Gone And Not To Be Brought Back Into Your Group.
33. Your Best Friend Should Never Sell You Out, A Real Man Always Returns The Favor.
34. Man Shall Never Call A Woman Who Is Just His Friend Unless It Is For The Sole Purpose Of Hanging Out To Become "Closer" Friends.
35. Shotgun Is To Be Called When The Vehicle Is In View, Not While Your Still In The Building.
36. No Man Shall Be Driving A Mini Van Unless That Is The Only Vehicle Available To Carry Everyone To The Liqour Store.
37. Unless It Is Your Mother, Sister, Aunt,Or Grandma, Man Does Not Say I Love You In Public.
38. Mans Mother Is Always A Saint.
39. Man Will Pass These Man Laws On To Everyone. Child Is Able To Start Learning Man Laws Once He Can Walk.
40. When Man Hangs Out With His Father, All Previous Disagreements Are Null And Void.
41. To Those Men Who Discipline Their Children With Spanking, If A Woman Attempts To Stop You From Disciplining Your Child, You Make Sure She Knows Who The Woman Is.
42. If She Does Not Tell You Her Age, Age Is Not An Issue.
43. If In A Bar And A Soldier Is In Uniform Said Man Is To Buy Soldier A Beer, UNLESS You Are Within 10 Miles Of A Navy Base Or Something In Those Regards.
44. When At A Movie Theater With Another Man, There Shall Be An Empty Seat Between The Two Of You. No Exceptions.
45. No Man Shall Ever Have To Explain Or Apologize For Not Calling Another Man Back.
46. No Man Shall Become Friends With An Exgirlfriend When The Relationship Went Out In Thunder Strikes Unless She Is Putting Out And It Has "Been Awhile".
47. Man should not wear shorts above his knees.
48. Man shall not count or cut coupons.
49. No Man Shall Use Another Man's Facebook Group To Degrade Another Man To Lure Women Into Speaking To Him. For That Makes Him ghey.
50. A Man Should Never Insult A Lady, Even If He Is Just Joking Around.
51. If It's The Last Period, Quarter, Half, Inning, Or Hold In Any Sporting Event, Women Are Forbidden To Speak To Us.
52. If The Remote Is Laying In Another Man's Lap, Under No Circumstances Is Another Man Allowed To Grab The Remote.
53. A Man Shall Never "Do It" In His Friends Bed Without Prior Permission From That Friend.
54. If Two Men Pass Each Other In A Hallway You Must Give The Nod Or The Pat On The Back If You Are Both In The Same Popularity Level.
55. No Man Shall Ever Let His Wife Or Girlfriend Or Other Woman Speak For Him On His Outgoing Voicemail Unless The Female Voice Is Hot Enough To Get Off To.
56. No Man May Glue Crystals Or Any Sort To His Cell Phone Or MP3 Player.
57. While Trying On Pants At The Store, A Man Should Never Ask Another Man How He Looks Wearing These Pants.
58. Clothes That Pass The "Smell Test" Are Acceptable To Wear Even If Unwashed For A Long Time.
59. Under No Circumstances Will A Man Pop His Collar.
60. No Man Shall Hold A Buying Bag By The Handles, But Shall Instead Fold Said Bag And Carry It Like A Football.
61. Men Do Not Go Shopping. We Go Buying.
62. No Man Shall Take More Than 45 Minutes To Do Their Christmas Buying.
63. When doing manual labor in the presence of women, it is considered stylish to appropriate to flew more than usual.
64. Highlights Are For Sportscenter, Not Your Hair.
65. If You get A Bad Hair Cut, You Are To Wear A Hat Or Suck It Up And Take It From Your Friends.
66. Men Will Not Wax Any Part Of Their Body.
67. No Man May Compliment Another Man On His Physical Looks Or Attire.
68. Every man Will Shower Before Going To A Bar With Other Male Friends To Pick Up Females.
69. If No Women Are Around, Your Belches Should Be As Loud And Long As Possible.
70. No Man Shall Ever Give The Hand Shake That Could Be Compared To That Of A Woman.
71. A Man Shall Never Say Whoever Smelled Ot Dealt It, Always Claim Your Own.
72. No Man Shall Ever Drive A Car With Spinner Hubcaps.
73. No Man Shall Operate A Vehicle With His Left Knee Bent Up And Foot On The Seat.
74. You Can Not Bet Less Than $5 On A Game.
75. A Man Must Finish A Poker Game Or Lose All His Chips, He May Never Leave In The Middle Of A Game.
76. No Exscuses. Play Like A Champion.
77. Man is to open door for woman only if woman is confirmed non-feminist, if she is a femenist she can open her own door.
78. Man Is To Show A Woman That Man Is Better Than Woman But Is To Never Strike Or Harm A Female.
79. Man Will Throw Away Any Instructions That Comes With An Item That Needs To Be Put Together. Man Does Not Take Instructions From Anyone, Yet Alone Need Them
80. (By Popular Demand) MAN SHALL NOT SPILL AN OUNCE OF BEER, EVEN IN THE NAME OF HUMOR.
81. Only Men May Suggest Man laws
82. Man May Not Push Another Man While He Is Pissing.
83. During A Game Of Beer Pong, No Man Who Calls Himself A Man, Will Wave His Hands Over The Cups As To Distract Another Man.
84. Bro's Before Hoes.
85. No Man May Make Exagerated Grunting Noises While Lifting At The Gym.
86. No Man Shall Leave His Beer Pong Partner For A Chick.
87. No Man Shall Hit Another Man's Beer Bottle.
88. Man Who Owns A Plasma Or LCD T.V. MUST Have More Than An Antenna Hooked Up To It To Where He Receives More Than His Local Channels.
89. Man Had A Good Night The Night Before If He Does Not Remember The Night.
90. A Man Will Not Whisper Into His Girlfriends Ear When Out With The Guys.
91. No Man Shall Extend His Pinky While Drinking Unless Deemed Necessary Because Of An Injury That Requires A Cast.
92. No Man Shall Type "LiKe ThIs"
93. No Man Shall Ask A Waitress For A Box.
94. No Man May Piss In A Urinal Next To Another Man.
95. A Man Is Obligated To Watch Any Act Of Lesbianism Unless Said Women Are Below A 7, Dictated By The Man Law Nation Hotness Chart.
96. If A Man Can't Lift His Own Girlfriend She Is Deemed Fat And No Higher Than A 1.3 On The Man Law Nation Hotness Chart.
97. (Also By Popular Demand) MEN Don't Kill Babies And MEN Don't Abandon Women, MEN Take Responsibility For Their Actions.
98. Man shall NOT date a female that roots for a rival team of said man, UNLESS she is above an 8 on the MLN hottness scale.
99. Put UP the seat (directed towards women)
100. Man will never say "ewww" or "that's gross"
101. Man may impersonate someone with a lisp by using a lisp, but the impersonation may not last more than one sentence.
102. Man shall never put America down, if you don't like America then you can get out
103. No man shall ever order a "fruity drink", alcoholic or not.
104. Man shall not cock block another Man unless said woman has an STD, or if said Man can't phyisically pick the woman up
105. Said Man should never dance at a bar. They made dance clubs for a reason.
106. Said Man will NOT babysit a kid that is NOT his during a sporting event.
107. No man shall ever hold his nose while jumping into any body of water.
108. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
111. Shut The Door
some words were edited to avoid the ghey censor of the word ghey, if you are offended by the word ghey, then ur ghey.
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Post by Mr Embed on Jan 10, 2007 20:57:33 GMT -5
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Sarge411
Junior Member
WA's FTW
Posts: 168
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Post by Sarge411 on Jan 10, 2007 21:31:08 GMT -5
lol
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Crazyman
Junior Member
Of all I have lost, I miss my El Phantasamo the most
ASSHATS
Posts: 179
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Post by Crazyman on Jan 10, 2007 21:54:13 GMT -5
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Zeke
Full Member
Posts: 405
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Post by Zeke on Jan 11, 2007 15:43:27 GMT -5
Best ones in there.
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Post by Mr Embed on Jan 11, 2007 18:39:21 GMT -5
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Sniper Wolf
Junior Member
What kind of candles are those? Dee-na-mee-tay. Must be Italian.
Posts: 116
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Post by Sniper Wolf on Jan 15, 2007 2:08:02 GMT -5
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Zeke
Full Member
Posts: 405
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Post by Zeke on Jan 16, 2007 19:45:41 GMT -5
some of that stuff in there looked kind of fun. Cool
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Post by Psychosis on Jan 18, 2007 1:25:36 GMT -5
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Post by The origanal Gangster on Jan 22, 2007 18:17:38 GMT -5
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Post by El Phantasamo on Jan 22, 2007 19:03:34 GMT -5
"Im gonna blow this motha fuka up if I don't get my motha fukin change" Priceless |
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Post by Mr Embed on Jan 22, 2007 19:10:17 GMT -5
Old news, but still funny  |
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Post by The origanal Gangster on Jan 22, 2007 19:21:25 GMT -5
my cousin showed me the video and I thought it was one of the funniest ones I have seen in a long time. I think this is the same kid youtube.com/watch?v=Q5jVNsiM4IU |
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